Thuhhhh

..wait for it...
Just kidding, I'm not going anywhere with that. Too predictable. Kind of like I could have predicted that every single Boston fan was going to act like the Yankees winning was a "given," not unlike Ringleader Himself:

1. My editor Philbrick summed it up best this morning: "Congratulations to the Yankees for winning Game 8." That could have been the most ironclad lock in gambling history. I have April 6 in the Page 2 Office Pool for "When will the Boston writers and radio stations start playing the 'These guys were a little too pleased with themselves about last season and it's starting to show' card."

Maybe they're psychic! Boston fans need to pick a philosphy/mentality and go with it. When they lose, they expected it. when they win, it's because they knew it would happen because they "always believed." I can't tell you enough how much this annoys me.

I was just telling my coworker that a quadrapalegic (sp?) has a better chance of marrying me than a Boston fan. (Not that people arre exactly lining up at the door. I just meant that I can't fathom the logistics of a Boston/Yankee fan relationship.) Like seriously, what would you talk about at dinner? Politics and religion and other non-controversial topics? I can't imagine this at all. And my coworker says, What if he was a "nice" Boston fan?

But see the thing is, when I go out to bars, the breakdown is:

50% say to me "Go Yankees"
15% say, "Yankees suck"
35% say, "Hey who won the World Series last year/you're wearing the international choke symbol/yeah boston!"

(And this is because my hat is always on, NYC folks aren't clairvoyant like Boston fans--ohh rimshot!)

That said, the point is, if I met a Boston fan that was like, "Hey a baseball fan! Great! So how about this rivalry huh? CRAZY! But fun!" I would check to see if he had all his chromosomes, (yeah you can check these things), and then MAYBE if they were all there, then we could talk.

But to be honest, I'm reminded of a certain scene from Chasing Amy, in which I'll now adapt to fit my particular situation:


There's a 4 way intersection with a $100 bill lying in the cross section. At the end of one road is Santa Claus, one road has the Easter bunny, one road has nice, pleasant, non-confrontational, good sport Boston fan, and one road has bitter, obnoxious, hater, whiny, newly arrogant Boston fan. All four run to the cross section to get the $100 bill. Now: who gets there first?

Answer: The bitter, obnoxious, hater, whiny, newly arrogant Boston fan.

You know why?

BECAUSE THE OTHER THREE ARE FIGMENTS OF YOUR FUCKING IMAGINATION.