So Nietzche once said, "if everyone is guilty, then no one is guilty." And basically this applies to everything, including all this Sheffield crap. If everyone is writing/talking about Sheffield's selfish ambition to field a ball out of the hands of a paying fan, then no one is. "Makes for good copy," my mom emailed me. Now I'm starting to think that the reason the Yanks and the Sox are the two highest payrolled teams (DRINK! reference to payrolls) is because Selig is paying them millions to perpetuate the whole rivalry drama. Like a fixed boxing match or something. I'm imaging the two teams huddled in Selig's uber-secret bungalow, and he's slipping them bills under the table with instructions like, "That Artest thing was the best thing that ever happened to the NBA. What can you do to make it happen?" Tek and A-Rod put their hands up in a "Hey don't look at us" way, and protest, "We've got families to feed, we can't risk another suspension."

Giambi's out, since he's already pushing enough media hype. Jeter: can't ruin squeaky clean image. Bernie, too old. (For now. I suspect at some point there will be a bench-clearing brawl instigated when Renteria, in an effort to prove himself to the Red Sox, joking stealths away with Bernie's guitar. And then at his next at-bat, he uses the GUITAR instead of a BAT, as the Idiots in the dugout chortle and slap their knees. Those kidders! Mussina yells, "That's not a bat! I can't pitch to something that isn't regulation equipment!" Johnson replaces him while the bullpen warms up. "I'll pitch to anything," he grumbles. Bernie, slightly befuddled, starts jogging towards the batter's box to retrieve said bat. Bernie kicks Renteria in the shin, Renteria retaliates in vintage Boston-style by breaking the guitar over his knee and then staking Bernie in the chest with one of the broken shards. The fans go wild. Torre wakes up. Security is heightened at Yankee Stadium on Calendar night, for fear beligerent fans will make paper airplanes out of them and throw them at Boston outfielders.)

I just went outside to get air. I have on my Yankee jacket, (it's still a game day, I dont get why everyone thinks that if the Yanks lose, I'm going to sheepishly retire my jacket/hat). One of my office building's maintenance men said, "Can't believe you're still wearing that." So many things wrong with this statement. I got that alot after the ALCS. If anything, I wore my hat out MORE after the ALCS, not asking for trouble, but because I didn't want to feed any preconceived notions about Bronx fans being fair-weather and soft.

Maybe the highlight of my morning though was coming in today and having a different maintenance man come up to me and deadpan, "I hate those motherf*ckers." (And he didn't mean the Bombers.)

In other news, I basically swallowed whole a McDonald's egg and cheese biscuit, along with the hashbrown. They didn't even know what hit them.

My coworker comes up behind me this morning and says, "Hey, howd last night go?" And I turn around and mutter, "Thanks, jackass." But alas, he really didn't even know who the yankees were playing, or if they won.
"Oh. Um, did the Yankees lose or something?"
I have to remember that not everyone is as witty as those yankee-haters who trot out this line...and that sometimes, a coworker just wants to make pleasant conversation. That's sound advice right there.