Do you know who I am? I'm Moe Green...

...I made my bones when you were going out with cheerleaders.

I'm playing in a beirut tournament in about 10 hours. I may be a little rusty since the last time I played was last weekend. When I was visiting my sister at G-town, I kept blabbering on to her friends about how they shouldn't listen to any alum who says, "The real world sucks!"

Which they shouldn't. Real world is awesome. Yeah I miss college more than Boston misses Pedro. But there's no homework in the real world. Once you're done with work, that's it. No work to do on the weekends. And it's not hard! In college there was always stuff you had to work hard at to learn and pass. The real world isn't challenging. You do what you know how to do. And you only have two things to worry about: bills and not getting fired.

Everything else is cream cheese. Cream cheese and weekend beirut tournaments for people who forgot they don't live in a fraternity basement anymore. Not a bad deal, at all.

I'm sad the Tank lost today. I missed most of the game (!!!!) because I went out to dinner with my friend. In an effort to find a temporary cure for my still troublesome sinus infection, we got Mexican food. And it put me in a good mood, though it didnt help my sinuses at all. There's something about having a spur of the moment dinner with a Mojito, tacos, and flan on a friday night, with your friend you just ran into on the way home from work, that is light and comforting.

Light and comforting but not effective in treating sinusitis. (Sounds like a pharma ad. The quickly read part at the end of the commercial that we in the business know as "fair balance:" "Mexican food is not suitable for all patients and is not indicated for the relief of nasal decongestion. Ask your doctor if chicken burritos are right for you.")

I am still getting double copies of ESPN magazine. This needs to stop. Not only am I not getting my free fleece, but I'm getting two copies of the same issue every month, and getting charged twice. This sounds like a Friends episode. The sitcom-like nuisance of simply trying to cancel one subscription and keep the other.

You know what I thought was weird? Opening day at Fenway was also Varitek and Nixon's birthday and no one mentioned anything about it. I only know because it was on my Page-A-Day Calendar. This is what I don't get about announcers. Not that birthdays are like Aflac Trivia questions. But I would think the captain's birthday would be of more human interest than say, I don't know, how many games the ump has called in the last decade.

The press box works in mysterious ways. Ok, me and Mo are going to bed. My friends wanted me to train him to play beirut and use him as my partner. But seeing as the list of people who like my cat grows shorter pretty much on a daily basis, he would probably clear out the bar in about an hour if I brought him tomorrow to be my partner. That, and he's only a kitten and can't play human drinking games.