Scientology

I'm so confused. All these celebrities, you'd think ONE of them would be like, "Scientology my ass." Sounds like a job for Curt Schilling.

If for no other reason than the fact that EVERYONE is jumping on the Band Wagon. I want to see a celebrity roll up with something like, "Yeah I've gotten really into this new religion called Catholicism. It's awesome. Strict, old fashioned teachings. Morals. Totally novel, you know?" That would be better than Kabbalah mumbo jumbo. Or even better, if someone trotted out a completely invented religion (which isn't a far cry from what Scientology is): "Um yeah I practice Cubism. What? No, not the art form. The religion. The practice of finding all of life's answers in office supplies in a your work cubicle. Every object represents a different element of the soul. Scotch Tape is man's penchant for human relationships. A pencil signifies our fear of committment, as well as our fear of making mistakes, while a Sharpie represents permanence. And well a corkboard? That, quite obviously, is a reflection of whats inside us."

I can 100% see someone like Billy Crystal coming out with this, and then all the other celebrities--not sure whether or not he's kidding, but too stupid to know otherwise--enthusiastically run with Cubism. Like Lindsey Lohan billing Cubism as "the religion of the youth generation."

God, if I were a celebrity, I'd have so much fun with it. You'd think for all their complaining about the papparazzi and the travelling and strain on their love lives, that they'd find something entertaining to do with their status, other than booze it up at the China Club.

But that's me.