Thoughts while I'm waiting for work to land on my desk

So I'm just wondering something. It's April 20, and today is Don Mattingly's birthday. Did Donnie Baseball smoke a lot solely because he has the distinction of being born on 4/20? Realize I'm saying this all faceiously because I think the whole "oooh lets smoke it's 4/20" thing is just about the most idiotic idea in the world to endorse. I feel bad for Mattingly almost. I would NEVER want a birthday on April 20, just because everytime someone asked when my birthday was and I told him, I'd have to deal with 1 out of every 10 people saying, "Hahaha! 4/20!" And then I would have to dropkick him.

In my rankings of innocuously aggravating people, the 4/20 bozos are hovering right around the dingbats on the subway who listen to their ipods at full volume so that-despite the headphones-everyone on the train can hear every single last asinine lyric.

I was watching the Goonies last night because what else is there to do on an 80 degree night at 3 in the morning when you're tired of reading old press releases for Spring Break Shark Attack? And there's scene I'd like to call your attention to. When they're in the basement of the Fratelli's restaurant and they're trying to "get to the lowest point possible" so Mikey takes a shovel and trys to dig through the concrete floors. Here's the scene. We're all very luckily I have a photographic memory and procure this type of information at will, exactly for these types of emergency situations:

Brand: Mikey, what are you doing? You little...
Mikey: Brand.
Brand: Give me that. There's nothing buried under there.
Mikey: There is something buried under there, Josh.
Brand: This is the twentieth century, Mikey.
Mikey: The map says there's something buried under there. There's gotta be.
Brand: Come on, get off it.
Mouth: Look it! I've got an idea. Why don't we just pour chocolate all over the floor, and let Chunk eat his way through?
Chunk: Okay Mouth, that's all I can stand. And I can't stand no more!
(Then the water bottle Chunk's drinking out of starts wobbling!)
Chunk: I got it. I got it. I got it!
(And then the water bottle falls over and breaks. Those nutty kids. Hilarious hijinx abounding.)
Chunk: I don't got it.
Others: You klutz. (I LOVE it when people in movies say things in unison! For real)

Let me preface this with saying that since I have genetically passed on hearing issues, as in I can hear about 35% of what people say, I have to watch the tv with captioning on. So this wasn't as an astute catch as I wish it was: Mikey calling Brand "Josh." I had to look it up, but apparently Josh Brolin is Brand? Why does that name sound familiar? Was he married to Streisand or something? I don't know.

Also, this scene reminds me of baseball. I swear to God. There's something wrong with me. And this is why. The part when Chunk is being a KLUTZ. “Look it! I've got an idea. Why don't we just pour chocolate all over the floor, and let Chunk eat his way through?”? But Chunk had had it, and that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. (water cooler breaks...and scene.)

I feel Chunk’s pain right now. I held my tongue when 2 weeks ago, New York Press listed A-Rod as the 50th Most Loathsome New Yorker. Rolled my eyes all winter when Holier-than-thou Schilling and his congregation took shots at #13. Shrugged off all these ridiculous claims that the Yankees’ third baseman is a curse/overpaid/overrated. But now, in the words of the immortal Chunk, “Okay, Mouth, that’s all I can stand, and I can’t stand no more!”

I'm fed up. I mean it. I also stupidly decided to jump on this whole New York Post Immortal Medallions Collection thing. I'm such an idiot. Of course, now that I've started buying the little bastards at 3 bucks a pop every morning, I can't stop now. I guess it will look pretty cool when I'm finished, but I also know that when it's displayed prominently on my mantle, I will invariably hear from whatever visitor I may have over, "I can't believe you actually wasted your money on that." And I won't be able to say they're entirely wrong, too, because I'm spending $60 when all is said and done, and this is $60 coming out of the wallet of a girl who has volunteered for a spinal tap medical research study, so she can pay her cell phone bill.